i took apart the crib and along with it...my heart

The time finally came. The dismantling of the crib. I had kept it up when we moved Sawyer to his big boy bed for the simple reason of a smooth transition and in case of any setbacks or adjustment problems. His transition went very well, and it has remained in there for several months for no apparent reason. Then, yesterday, it came apart.

It is now stored in the basement, along with the other baby items, that are artifacts of a time that seems a world away all of the sudden. Where has the time gone? Is this really my life? My life that doesn't consist of baby items much anymore? They are growing up. They don't need the bottles, or the pacifiers, or even the crib anymore. Potty training is among us, soon diapers will be non-existent too. It is emotional. At times I feel like my heart is ripping out of me and other times I am embracing this "growing up" with open arms. It's like a roller coaster that I am riding. I am on one hill wishing it would slow down and not go so fast and even sometimes wishing we were getting back in line to do it all over again. Yet, I am suddenly on another hill raising my arms and yelling with glee as we descend that last hill.

So the crib. All I could think about as I took out every last bolt was the day my mom and I went to pick up the crib. I remember that excitement so well. The day for it to come in stock just couldn't arrive fast enough. I was filled with anticipation for our nursery to be ready for our baby. I also kept remembering Barry putting it together. The hope. The excitement. The fear. The unknown. The love.

Is this really my life? It is passing by like a flash.